Before It's Too Late (Troubled Hearts Book 3) Read online

  With his elbow on his thigh, he rested his forehead against his fingertips and busied himself with thoughts of everything he would need to do in order to take care of Taylor. He would need to go to Abbey’s apartment and collect some of her things. Then there were diapers, wipes, clothes, and whatever else he would need to change her. Zach figured he could use the little portable crib until he could move her other one to his house, should he need to. Taylor already attended a nearby daycare, so he wouldn’t need to arrange that. Of course, he’d have to take over paying for that. Then there was the matter of Abbey’s apartment and bills. He’d have to figure that out too.

  A small cry escaped Taylor, and Zach looked down. She scrunched her face and a moment later, she opened her mouth, dropping her binky, and broke out into an eardrum-bursting wail. Fucking hell, that kid had a set of lungs on her.

  Zach stood and scooped her up into his arms, grabbing her binky and holding her upright against his chest so her head could rest on his shoulder against his neck. She loved it when he held her that way. It wasn’t the way her mom did, but it’s how he always did.

  “Shh. It’s okay. Uncle Zach’s got you.”

  He pressed the rubber tip of her pacifier against her lips. She sucked it into her mouth immediately and continued crying intermittently. Rubbing her back, Zach paced the room as her cry softened further. Within a few minutes, Taylor quieted completely, until all he could hear was the constant suckling and her steady breathing.

  “You always did have a way with her.”

  Zach turned toward the door at the sound of Cael’s soft, deep voice. He hadn’t even heard him come in. His best friend looked worried and a bit unsure, but regardless, Zach was grateful to have him there.

  “The nurse will be in in a few,” Cael added as he crossed the small room and stopped in front of Zach. Cael bent down to see Taylor’s face nestled against him, so close that Zach could feel his hair brush his chin.

  “Hey, Tay-tay,” Cael said, reaching for her hand as he placed his other hand on Zach’s shoulder. Cael’s touch calmed and reassured Zach, serving as a physical reminder that he wasn’t alone, something he very much needed at the moment.

  Taylor wrapped her tiny digits around Cael’s thick finger. Zach couldn’t help but smile as he watched Cael with her. His gaze drifted up from their hands to Cael’s face and lingered there for endless seconds.

  His best friend had always been there. For his family. For him. And he always would be there, any time Zach needed him. It was selfish of Zach, but he was sort of glad Cael was still single because it meant he didn’t have to share him with anyone.

  “Hey, man. Thanks for being here.”

  Cael looked up at Zach, their gazes connecting, then straightened. “Where else would I be?”

  “Excuse me, Mr. Rivas?”

  Zach turned toward the voice. “Oh, hi.”

  The woman frowned a little—no idea why—as she tapped the screen of the tablet in her arm, then tucked a stray bit of dark hair behind her ear. “Mr. Rivas, I’m Lin, one of the nurses here, and I understand we’ll be releasing Taylor into your care.”

  “Yes. And, please, just call me Zach.”

  “Of course. I have her care instructions if you’d like to go over them with me. Then I’ll just need your signature on some paperwork.”

  “Okay.”

  “Here,” Cael said, reaching for Taylor. “I’ll take her while you handle that.”

  “Thanks.”

  Zach passed his niece to Cael and left the two of them to hang out while he spoke with the nurse. She immediately began reviewing Taylor’s care instructions, mostly as it related to her broken arm and cast, and Zach mostly paid attention to her, but he also couldn’t help straying to glance at Cael, watching him slow dance with Taylor in his capable, strong arms. The sight reminded Zach once again of what he wouldn’t have anytime soon.

  His own family.

  His own special someone to love and with whom to share his life.

  One of these days, Cael would realize that he was missing the same thing, and he would fall in love with some guy and start his own family. One that wouldn’t involve Zach so much, because why would it?

  And, dammit, why the hell did knowing that hurt so fucking much?

  Probably because he would have what Zach had wanted for years now and still hadn’t attained.

  “Zach!” Cael whisper shouted.

  Zach blinked his eyes, not realizing what he’d missed. Pulling his brows together, he shook his head a little. “Sorry. Just… lots on my mind.”

  “I know you’ve had a rough morning,” the nurse said. “Do you need me to repeat anything?”

  “Um…” Zach glanced at Cael for help.

  Cael smiled. “No. I got it. We’re all good. Right, Tay-tay,” he said, and she just looked at him, pain glossing over her dark green eyes.

  The nurse gave Zach a questioning look, and he nodded. She had him sign a few documents on her tablet, then handed Zach the discharge papers and just like that, Taylor was his responsibility until his sister woke up.

  If she woke up.

  “Hey,” Cael said. “Abbey will wake up.”

  It baffled Zach sometimes with how connected they were to each other, and yet there were times in which they seemed totally clueless.

  Still holding Taylor with one arm, Cael slung his other arm around Zach’s shoulder.

  “C’mon, Pook. You think your stubborn-ass sister will give up a lifetime of messing with you, not to mention raising her daughter? She’ll come back before you know it. After all, she’s gotta see whether she wins that bet, right?”

  Zach huffed a laugh. “Yeah.” He wished he knew what the bet was about, because he’d sure as hell make sure she won it if he did.

  ***

  Zach sat in the ICU waiting room, staring at his dad as he held Taylor. Cael had left not too long ago to get a new car seat for the little munchkin so they could take her home. Well, not home. Back to his house where she would be living for who knew how long.

  Before Cael left, they’d both gone in to see his sister. Zach probably shouldn’t have though, because seeing her fragile body bruised and cut, surrounded by wires and tubes and metal rods and all sorts of electronic equipment meant to monitor her and keep her alive, had shattered him. He’d become convinced that his sister was never coming back. He’d never felt so helpless in all his life.

  Zach had broken down almost immediately. He just couldn’t hold it in anymore. That’s when Cael started rubbing his back, and when Zach couldn’t handle the pain of looking at her any longer, he’d turned to Cael, not knowing what to do or what to say. But Cael knew. Cael pulled him into his arms and held him, and Zach didn’t know why, but he couldn’t think of a better place to be in that moment.

  Now, everything was happening in a haze, as if he wasn’t really there, but rather an observer. His eyes, glazed and strained, wandered in a vacant stare as he tried to keep the image of Abbey’s broken body out of his mind. But he couldn’t. She’s all he could think of. Her, and the fact that her daughter might grow up without her mom, and it fucking killed him to think it. After everything Abbey had gone through to bring that beautiful little angel into this world, she’d earned the right to live and raise her daughter.

  Zach glanced toward the automatic sliding doors and breathed a sigh as Cael approached from the other side. Finally. Because it felt like fucking forever since he’d left, even though it had only been about an hour.

  Cael carried two brown paper bags of food in one hand, drinks in a drink-holder in the other, and what looked like a pastel pink diaper bag slung over his shoulder. Zach laughed inwardly.

  Pink. Mental note: tell him how adorable he looks carrying a pink diaper bag.

  Glancing to his left to make sure his dad still had Taylor, Zach pushed away from the wall and headed over to meet him. The moment the doors slid open, Cael smiled, making him smile right back. Zach had no idea how he did that, but it’s as if he
couldn’t help himself.

  It was that smile Cael sometimes gave him. One that no one else ever had, and it was fucking weird, because there was this part of Zach that suddenly hoped he was the only one to ever be on the receiving end of that look, because Cael was looking at him as if Zach meant everything to him.

  The realization stopped Zach short. He didn’t even realize he’d stopped walking toward Cael. Zach stood there, frozen, staring at his best friend as he closed the space between them, his heart pounding a million miles a minute. He racked his brain for some level of understanding. Some explanation about what he was seeing, or more so rather, what he was feeling.

  This can’t be right, can it?

  “Hey,” Cael said, stopping in front of Zach. He narrowed his eyes, searching Zach’s. “You okay?”

  “Um. Yeah.”

  Zach let out a heavy sigh, sweeping his thoughts under a mental rug, and tossed a quick glance over his shoulder at his parents and niece.

  “Well, no. But, you know, today is all sorts of fucked up, so, whatever. Need some help?” Zach asked, reaching for the cardboard drink tray. He took it from him, and they made their way toward his mom, dad, and Taylor.

  “Sorry I took so long. I picked up a few extra things for Taylor and then stopped for food when I realized no one had eaten since earlier this morning. Figured everyone might be hungry and I wasn’t sure how long you guys wanted to stay.”

  “No worries. I hadn’t even though about food until I saw it in your hand, though Dad had mentioned getting Mom something to eat not too long ago, so your timing is perfect, actually.”

  “Good.”

  “Taylor, look who’s back,” his dad crooned as Cael and Zach approached.

  Taylor rested in her grandpa’s lap, perking her head up and reaching her good hand out toward her uncles, opening and closing her fist and repeatedly grabbing at the air.

  “Cael,” she said with her binky still in her mouth.

  “You want to go see Uncle Cael?” Alex asked her as they set the food and drinks on a small, round coffee table.

  Zach grabbed the edge of the table and slid it as quietly as possible toward them while Cael went to Taylor. Zach sat and started pulling out foil-wrapped sandwiches.

  “Hi, Tay-tay.” Cael set the diaper bag on the floor and lifted Taylor from her grandpa’s lap. “Why don’t you come sit with me so Lito can eat?”

  Cael dropped into the chair next to Zach and set Taylor on his thigh so she faced toward the table, but Taylor immediately shifted sideways and curled against his chest. Taylor had always had a special bond with Cael. No one really knew why. It was just there.

  Zach sorted the drinks. Iced tea for his mom. Coke for the rest of them.

  “Alex, will you hand me the diaper bag right next to you there?” Cael said.

  Zach’s dad slid it over to him. Cael reached down with one hand, digging around inside the bag, then pulled out a yellow container of Taylor’s favorite fruit slash veggie puffs. The moment Taylor saw it, she lifted her head, hesitated a moment, then pulled her binky out.

  “I thought you might like these,” Cael chuckled, trying to pop the lid off while not letting her fall.

  “Here,” Zach said, grabbing the container from him. “You don’t happen to have a bowl in that bag, do you?”

  “Yeah, actually,” Cael said, pushing the bag toward Zach with his foot. “It’s in there somewhere.”

  Zach fished around inside the bag, finding diapers, wipes, extra clothes, another binky, more puffs, a bottle of water. Nope, make that two. Sippy cup. Stuffed toy. Aha. Bowl container thing.

  “Wow, Manning, you weren’t kidding when you said you picked up a few extra things. Is there anything you didn’t get?” Zach asked, filling the snack bowl with puffs.

  Cael shrugged as Zach screwed the plastic lid on the bowl and popped open the small, flip-top portion of the lid. He took it from Zach and held it in his palm so Taylor could start eating.

  “Better eat while they’re still hot,” Cael said, gesturing with a tip of his chin toward the sandwiches on the table.

  Zach reached for one. “What about you?”

  “I scarfed one down on the way over, so I’m good.”

  After partially unwrapping his sandwich, Zach wasted no time sinking his teeth into the warm, plain roast beef and bun. His stomach rumbled, as if to say it’s about damn time. Cael occupied Taylor while Zach practically inhaled one sandwich in record time. Zach took a long drink of soda and glanced down at the bag between their feet, remembering something.

  “So, pink?” Zach smirked.

  “What? It’s her favorite color.”

  “Mmm-hmm.” Zach’s grin widened a bit more.

  “What?”

  Zach leaned in close so he could whisper without anyone else hearing. “Oh nothing. Just that you looked so adorable carrying a pink diaper bag,” he snorted quietly.

  Cael snickered and turned to whisper in his ear. “Whatever, Pook.”

  Zach knew he meant it to rile him up after the whole adorable comment, and usually Zach would pretend that it did, but this time, he didn’t, because, after the day he’d had so far, it just meant too much to him. Sitting back, Zach brushed the thought aside quickly and glanced at his watch.

  “Anyway, it’s four o’clock. We should probably take Taylor home so she can get her nap.”

  “Whenever you’re ready,” Cael said. “I already installed her new car seat in my truck. I’ll just move it to your car when we get back to your house.”

  “You boys heading out?” Alex asked before taking another bite of his second sandwich.

  Zach straightened in his chair, adjusting the cap on his head. “For now, yeah. Unless you need me to stay.”

  “I can take Taylor home for a nap if you need Zach to stay,” Cael offered.

  “No, no, sweetie,” Amy said. “The three of you go. We’ll be fine. They only let two of us at a time in Abbey’s room anyway. There’s no point in you sitting out here by yourself.”

  “You guys staying the night here?” Zach asked.

  “As much as your mother wants to, I don’t think we will.”

  “Someone should be here, Alex,” Zach’s mom said. “I don’t want our baby to wake up all alone.”

  “I know, Amy, but you know you can’t stay all night.”

  “Mom can stay with me,” Zach suggested, looking between her and his dad. He knew his mom’s multiple sclerosis was the reason his dad wouldn’t let her stay here. It was too hard on her, and his dad wouldn’t ever leave her by herself, especially overnight. “I can come back and pick her up later, and Dad can stay with Abbey.”

  “We’ll talk about it,” his dad answered.

  “Okay, well.” Grabbing the diaper bag, Zach lifted it and set it on the table, then stood. Cael stuffed the lidded bowl and container of fruit puffs into the bag, then winked up at Zach.

  “All yours, Pook.”

  Zach rolled his eyes, hiding his smile, and zipped up the bag as Cael held Taylor against his chest and stood. They said a quick good-bye to his parents. As Zach leaned down to hug his mom, she whispered something in his ear he never could have expected in that moment.

  “You need to open your eyes, Zach, before it’s too late.”

  ***

  With every pound of his feet on the asphalt path through the park, Zach felt a little normal again. Running outdoors kept him level-headed and gave him the time he needed to think and rebalance, so why he’d stopped doing it when Megan left him, he didn’t know.

  Actually, he did know.

  Zach had met Megan on a morning similar to this one. A couple years out of college, he had an apartment not too far from here and a solid job as a user interface designer for BlackRock, an entertainment company that had entered the massively multiplayer online role-playing game—MMORPG—industry a few years prior where he still worked to this day. He’d been out for a run in this very park when Megan jogged up beside him and asked if she could join h
im, and well, the rest was history.

  After Megan left him, Zach stopped going on his usual morning runs through Belmar Park. She had been the second girl he’d dated that he’d met while out on a run, and he hadn’t been looking for a third.

  That hadn’t changed. Zach still wasn’t looking, but he had needed to get out of the house and run for a good long while, so that’s what he did, and it felt fucking fantastic. The difference this time was that now, he had Taylor cruising along with him in the jogging stroller he’d found at Abbey’s apartment yesterday evening, though he didn’t realize he would be using it so soon.

  Fuck. Abbey…

  Zach had been trying not to think about her, especially since there was nothing he could do other than take care of Taylor and hope to fucking God she would come out of it with little permanent damage. He didn’t even want to imagine what would happen if she didn’t. So right now, he kept his focus on Taylor, and Abbey would come back to them soon. She just had to.

  After a thought-provoking and re-energizing, six-mile run during which no one approached him, thankfully, Zach headed back home, knowing he’d have a shit ton of things to do today. First thing on his list: breakfast.

  Zach parked the stroller inside the front door then strapped Taylor into her portable, booster-seat already secured to one of the dining room chairs. Grabbing the container of puffs Cael bought yesterday, he scattered a handful on her tray and began process of finding something in order to make them each a decent meal. He hadn’t been to the grocery store in a couple weeks, having been surviving on mostly fast food and pizza lately.

  Item number two on his list: grocery shopping.

  His stomach rumbled, and Zach cursed under his breath.

  As if I need it to remind me that I’m fucking starving.

  At least Taylor wouldn’t starve right away.

  After using his shirt to wipe the drying sweat from his face, Zach grabbed the egg carton from the fridge and opened it to find one egg. He opened the bag of bread, noting it was four days past the best-by date, and counted three pieces, two of which were the heels. He had no milk, half a box of Golden Grahams, and not a single piece of fresh fruit in sight. It didn’t surprise him. Zach usually, if he had time, stopped for breakfast on his way to work, almost always ate out for lunch, and either stopped for dinner on his way home or ordered in.